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Close Encounters of the
Preciousssss AS Longboard
Bay Area Longboarded
San Francisco Bay Area, California

The alt.surfing chronicles of the "A.S. Clusterfuk Redemption Tour"

"Which posters to alt.surfing have you met, surfed, or tripped with, where and when?"
My first Close Encounter with an AS'er was... when I belonged to Paul Richardson.

Name The Board Contest:
Name it "Terry",  after Terry Anderson, the American journalist
who was held *hostage* for seven years.

The Board Moves East. Todd... Paul offers... Rod collects... Paul sends... Todd... alt.surfing ASplodes... Todd... jw offers...

Passing of the board - Name The Event.
Dennis: Thu, May 11 2006
I mentioned it in a post below, but I think it's worth it's own topic. I think the board should have a name of it's own, and the event should have it's own name as well. Special thanks should go out to Paul for donating the board to Todd. And Todd, for his part in the birth of this event, also deserves special mention. This is the biggest thing since Thermie!  Any suggestions?
Surfer Bob: Thu, May 11 2006
Did Todd actually write on it the words "the paul richardson traveling alt.surfing board"? If so, I'd say it's already been named. And a simple, straightforward, surferly name it is.


(Click for larger image)

Tom Tweed: Fri, May 12 2006
I think Awe is onto something here.  What started out as a somewhat misguided and  idiotic attempt at some kind of social service gesture  turned into a divisive, mean-spirited phenomena
that caused much unnecessary hate and discontent on AS. It truly became a Clusterfuk, but it is finding a way to right itself, so I recommend that it become the "A.S. Clusterfuk Redemption Tour."

The board has already been named "Preciousssss" in prior posts (and on the AS Encounters page), but "Gollum" or "Smeagol," after the Tolkien hobbit who descended into selfish obsession over the Ring, but finally played a key role in its destruction and the salvation of Middle Earth might be more appropriate.

I think the traveling AS board is a stellar idea and the birth of a unique Internet legend. I hope that it makes it way around the US and then to Hawaii, New Zealand, Australia, Asia and Europe,
and is signed and ridden by as many AS contributors as possible. If it comes to So. Cal., I will definitely make an effort to ride it, sign it,  and pass it on.

>SteveM should organize a vote :)

Oh God, NO!


Todd - We Did It!!!!!!!! - May 11, 2006 - Bye Bye Board

Hooked up with johnw this morning! Some basic pics to follow. He paddled out and rode it in knee/thighish waves at a semi-secret ri spot:-) I suited up but it was dead low tide and being a cobblestone reef, I was unable to tolerate the pain in my feet on the rocks [neuropathy]. Oh well, I tried.

It was good seeing you johnw, as always. Naysayers, I want an apology. I told you it would get done and  I happily sent it on its way today!

Looking forward to many pics and stories in the future. Once again and always, thanks to Paul Richardson for the original donation of the board. I signed it off as..... "The Paul Richardson Traveling alt.surfing Board"  :-) .............. todd.

John Webster - I Have The Board - May 11, 2006
May 11, 2006
Place: RI, US
Air: 52F (18C?)
Water: 49F (17C?)
Wind: up to 15 kts. from the ENE
Sky: gray
Precip: slight drizzle at times
Waves: occasional barely waist high drop, tapering to thigh-high lines
Rating: Waves had some decent shape to them, but overall, poor conditions, with quite a bit of surface chop, but rideable on a longboard... wouldn't have normally paddled out, but did so for a good cause.

Nota bene: We didn't get pix of me surfing the board. Todd had my camera and he was on the shore while I surfed, but... no pix. I may take it out once more just to get pix of me surfing it, before handing it off to Mike G... I have plenty of boards of my own, but it's an important part of the process.

Todd and I got out on the board today in little barely waist-high chop. Waves certainly could have been a lot better, but it was rideable on a longboard.

I got a few waves on it, it's a very easy wave-catcher (and rider). Cheated up to the nose on a couple bumpy thigh-high "walls." Nice, board, Paul, and fin. I have a shorter Becker longboard, the Fugitive. Yours is back in the bag, Todd stored it carefully and safely. I got a couple waves on my 9'6" Hansen today, as well. We were only out for about a half hour.

Anyway, we got some pix, signed the board and it's sitting here in Rhode Island. Mike G. you might be next.

Thanks Todd (and all the donors)! You got it done, as I always knew you would in the end. Good to see you again, young man!  :)

Now, it's godspeed to the board and global AS'ers who ride it. Look forward to tracking it and reading about it here.

John Webster and The Board

(Click for larger image)
The AS Troops Are Now Concerned That jw Is Catching Gollumitis
From: Awe F'shore
Date:  Sun, Jun 25 2006

Allright jw - gigs up. Beware - you've been gollumizing the stick long enough. I bet Todd's LH@O now that he's free of the curse of the precioussssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

It seems to have you fully within it's grasp. You need to get it down the road, no more excuses, no more bullshit threads about transfer dates looooooooooooooong into the future.

Go ahead. Get hammered and give us a good drunk post and let us know how you REALLY FEEL about passing it on. Do it! Naowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!  Sometime before summer's over already!
Meanwhile, out here in the land of continuous south swells, one right after another, I have the

It's bringing us waves! The curse is over - Foon cured it. It should stay put here now. Really!
For awhile at least.
BuahhhHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAhAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Now back to you're regularly scheduled demise of AS.....


From: jw
Date: Tues, Jun 27 2006

lol!!!  Is there such a thing as a one-post meltdown?

Send me some o' that...whatever it is your drinking and/or smoking and I'll be sure to consume large quanities and see what comes out on the newsgroup.

(Side-note -- I'm in touch w/Mike G. The responsibility of the next hand-off is foremost on my mind, despite a really hellish schedule. Anyone closer than 250 miles away is welcome to meet me in RI, or come pick it up. But fret not - it will move on! In fact, I can't wait to get the behemoth out of my storage room...it's taking up more space than my 10-piece living room sectional! ;))


From: Surff
Date: Thurs, Jun 29 2006

jw had procrastinated for several months in the summer of 2006. He had promised to send off the board, but his promises had become totally hollow. The good people of alt.s began to think some sort of disease had gripped Todd and jw. Then one fine morning in August as summer
began to fade away, jw awoke to the sound of a chain saw starting up. It was AWE!! He had gone totally psycho. There he was, the surfboard laid across two sawhorses, wood laying around where he had practised and Awe standing there with the chainsaw raised high above his head.
jw rushed out to scream NOOOOOOOOOO! at Awe, but he stumbled across the legs of someone tied up sitting in the grass outside the door. My God! it was Him, the cursed one. It was Todd.............................................

To be continued? Does Todd find the three cans of Colt 45 in jw's fridge?


From: Awe F'shore
Date: Thurs, Jun 29 2006

Hell no, Awe had already drank them! And this was after he had already drank two cases of Red Stripe, so Awe had a good buzz going!

Looking down at the tumbled mass of bodies strewn about , and the glazed look upon the faces of those who had been under the longboard curse for so long, Awe laid down the chainsaw and grabbed his camera gear. After all, it was a photo op not to be missed!

That's when the Starbuck's-mobile pulled up, blaring it's horn loudly, and Shaft stumbled out with coffee bong in hand. He had a small statured dude with him, a video camera, a fistfull of bottle rockets and a sector 9 skate. WTF? Awe thought he was having flashbacks of something that he couldn't quite place hid finger on.

Just then, Rico galloped up on a fine black steed, flashing lot's, I mean, we're talking LOT'S of sharp steel! He was looking somewhat pissed.....
(to be continued)  

Other Digretions and Historical Notes
From: Captain Fantastic
Date: Tues, Jun 27 2006

so, I had been away from this group for a whole long time. the crew has changed for the most part... fang isn't around any more, airey, and some of the others.

also, the traditions have changed. some. the as-wsd is still around (i hope to make it next year and report out). but now we have the Thermi award, which, best i can tell is for the best wsd detailed run through. please clarify if there is a better description for this.

what really has my interest is the AS longboard. i have been reading some of the convo, the deal with todd etc. i see the board has changed hands and may be on it's way to the west coast.

however, what i'm missing with the aslb is, how did thiscome about? how had a 'spare' longboard that they donated to the ether? what does one need to do to pay homage to and perhaps even ride the now as famous stick? any chance it'll make it's way to the bay area? i'd certainly go to some trouble to ride it if possible. my daughter is learning to surf and that would be a better board for her, for at least a littel bit, than the one i bought her.

anyway, just looking for insight, history and clues. i don't mean to dredge up unsavory feelings and old arguments. i really am just trying to catch up on what i've missed, besides the spammers and all of the missed surf reports.

and, btw, since i left (circa 1995), with the advent of the web, it sure is nice to see the pics in more real time. the stuff OBSurfr and Awe put up usually kill. it has added a much appreciated dimension to the group!

Daniel Hinojosa - http://www.RNDH.Org/surf/

From: Tony Malasadas
Date: Tues, Jun 27 2006

Start here: http://tinyurl.com/syzek

The Precious Longboard Moves From Rhode Island to New Jersey - August 16, 2006
(Click on pics for larger image)
MikeG on the Rocks
MikeG Riding Ruggles, RI John Webster and MikeG

John Webster Hands Off The Precious Longboard to MikeG
Pardon the small weak waves, but it was a nice day to get in the water! Trunking it, no crowd, just two AS'ers dominating the peak...;)

Surfer is Mike G., none of me surfing the board (again), but I got three very memorable decent length rides. We traded boards in the water for a few waves. The board is smooth. It would be a good summertime board for around here. It was surfed leashless, but neither lost the board, nor dinged on way in or out - although there was the fear that it would get its first ding. Mike got far more rides than I did, on the AS board and my 9'6" Hansen, after getting a few  on the fish before I arrived.

Well-rounded session!

Words of Wisdom for MikeG: Mike is a good spirit, but even the Precious longboard might hold sway
over him, despite his best intentions. He doesn't realize the power it contains. You think you're cruising right along, doing the right thing, and then, bam! you realize you've had the board for three months, you're staring at it for hours on end, neglecting family and friends, you're work suffers, and the waves stop coming. OH The Humanity! Think of the children!! :)

P.S. Yes...the board seems to accompany at least small waves upon hand off. I'm hoping now we will begin to get bigger waves, since I have removed the onus from my neck. The albatross, etc. A pox on New England has been vanquished. Let there be waves. Todd you out there? The board has left RI!


Surf Report: Rhode Island - "The Precious Moves" - MikeG
The trip up from NJ was a breeze, I left my house at 0500 and was in the water in front of the lighthouse by 0800. I had spoken with JW the night before and said I would arrive by 0900 so after leaving him a message I decided to paddle out on my fish in the marginal conditions. The best part of the paddle out was the cool water on my slightly hungover noggin.

There was a lone longboarder on the peak who I though might be JW, but after seeing him up close the kid seemd to be in his mid to late teens. The waves were weak, and when I saw a Saab with 2 LBs strapped to the roof pull up, I knew it must be JW. I scrambled up the rocks to meet him and we exchanged pleasantries. I had mentioned the possibility of spearfishing instead of surfing, so I think JW was surprised to see mewith my board under my arm.

JW presented me with the board. The fact that the waves were so small made me thankful to see the gargantuan size of the precious. It's inquite good shape, Paul you are truly a charitable bloke.

As JW got ready to jump in I immediatley grabbed the prize and unlike Smeagol, I let Deagol live, and escaped into the ocean. The board felt like it was meant for me, fitting like a well tailored suit and I was up and riding it in a moments time. In less than 10 minutes I must have ridden the board 5 times, catching wave after wave, walking the board, even going switch stance, while the other surfers windmilled for scraps. "I love this board, I love this board, I love this board, Itwas meant for me and no one else!!!!!!!"

Sorry, something came over me for a second...

JW made his way out, and we caught a few more rides, switching back and forth between riding the two LBs. I told JW, "Whenever I come to RI something good happens" and this was no exception. The ocean provided something to ride, the weather was perfect and I met a geniunely good guy in JW.
Thanks for the board, the pics and the quick tour of some breaks I've missed in the past.

JW had to go, but I decided to linger and soak in the perfect New England summer day. I stopped for a lobster roll near town and watched some fisherman near a boat launch as I noshed on the sandwich. I couldn't help but notice the plethora of baitfish in the water, breaking the surface every now and again as predators chased from below. After eating, my curiosity got the better of me and I jumped into the fray with my spear. Yahoo! Striped bass were everywhere, I chose an appropriate sized morsel,poked it and plopped it in my cooler for dinner that evening.

All in all a great day to be near the sea.

MikeG - August 30, 2006 am - "My Time with the ASLB"

Today Rod & Foon are heading North to fetch the AS Longboard. In the past two weeks I've spent some time with the Longboard...
First off the board looked a little dingy, so I cleaned it up
(Don't worry, I put 2 brand new bars of wax in the bag)
Then, I had some material laying around,
so I made a sock for it.

After that it was time to sign it...

But then I started to worry about the next recipients,
the Govment boys of AS.  I was a bit worried that trace
chemicals of illicit material might be found in the
board, so I ran some tests.

The results were interesting, but they will be sealed as evidence to protect me against subsequent investigations. I'm off to meet Rod & Foon now with a clean board, and a clean conscience.

I only had the board for 14 days, and the only time I was able to surf it was the day I got it from jw.  That's what an Eact Coast summer is all about, no waves. Anyway the handoff was made and a photo op was had.  We also got some food, and then I surfed, but on my 5'8" fish.

August 30, 2006 -  ASLB Continues South
I was able to meet Rod & Foon in Bradley Beach, NJ today to pass off the precious. The Guidopalooza is sure to be a success now. We took some pics in M@rks old haunt and then retreated to Kelly's Irish Tavern in Neptune for some spirits and good fare. Of course we talked about
all of you, but what happens in real life, STAYS in real life!

Thanks for making the trip guys, sorry you had to leave. I ended up surfing punchy waist high surf for a couple of hours in nice warm water.

Good Luck at GP 06.

Mike G.

**** Insert Many Missing Posts Here ****

October 19, 2007 - The AS CF Longboard -- Get It Moving!
OK, this is important.

What is the problem with the AS Clusterfuck Longboard? Why has it been sitting in Florida for six months? The idea, if you'll remember, is to pass it along as quickly as possible (i.e., in a month or way less, if feasible), so that other AS'ers can enjoy it. That's the reason you have it in the first place, so hop to it! None of this, it's too far to drive. Sail it to Andy fer crissakes! Mike G. drove three hours to get it from me (and we had a grand old time riding it in tiny waves).

For those who don't know the what I'm talking about (which I doubt, because it's the same six people posting that were posting last year, hence my conversations with myself):


You get the idea?

I am going to reply to this post every day, until the longboard moves. Awe, feel free to chime in, my friend. And anyone else who is sick of this thing gathering dust. It was meant to be ridden, and passed along, around the world. I'll be retired before it ever makes it to Calif., where it found its first home, compliments of PR. So, stop stroking its beautiful lines. Stop hugging it, or whatever is being done to it. Stop using it as a coffee table. Get the frikken board moving!!!

Don't make me send my assistant down there to find out what the problem is. She doesn't like to clean up problems...that's why she's my assistant: she has her shit together.

Now, it's happy hour here in jolly ol' New England, I've started in on my first Narragansett pounder (I tip it in your general direction, Carson), and I want some real info when I get back from hittin the town.

(And, since there is so much ascii misinterpretation going around... I'm saying all this with a smile.)

Best regards,

AS CF Longboard pioneer
New England pilgrim

I hear it will be arriving in Socal for the "Swell of 2012" according to Hopi legend.

Awe, you were the ringleader in torturing me about that damn cursed log! Pick up the slack, and start haranguing Ferg, will ya? Otherwise I won't buy you a beer when I finally visit SD (or move there for short term). Oh yeah, Ferg never posts here anymore, so he can't get harangued. OK, I'll do it "in absentia," or whatever.

I want to see pix of the AS CF LB being ridden, signed, and moved the hell out of FLA, pronto! The AS CF LB page must be updated! The board must be moved -- it's got a lot of traveling to do before it gets to OZ.

I'll have my assistant draft an inter-office memo on the topic, and after I've signed off on it, she'll distribute it to all parties involved. If this is not attended to ASAP -- heads are going to roll!


AS needs pics of the assistant. Tell us more about her. ;)

I'll let you run the haranguing show. You've earned it - although I may toss a lure or two on occasion.


October 21, 2007 - The Current Keeper of  the Longboard Replies
I drove 4 hours round trip to pick it up, and got skunked on surf in the process. I almost flew it with me to Salt Lake City to pass it on, but it was too big for my flight.

I've also wrote to a couple of old ASers' e-mails that I haven't talked to in a long time, to see if they were interested in it.

Don't blame me, just come and get it.

Tampa, FL

October 27, 2007 - Re: The AS CF Longboard -- Get It Moving!

Our friend in Alabama was less than an hour away from me at one point. We were in contact, but he turned his back on Preciousss. Now, he's the most vocal critic....

My beach had its first seasonal cold front this week. I rode Preciousss in waist-high mush wednesday. I'll have waves every week now, so She's finally off my carport rafters and getting put to use.

So now I'm supposed to go to a greyhound station and ship this big log away?


Come and take her from me if you dare...


July 12, 2008 - Got rid of the traveling lingboard

The first wave I caught Saturday morning was the best wave I had in a few years.  It was just before 7am into dawn patrol. It was typically a 3-5' day, dropping to 2-4' after by noon, but that first wave was a Big outside freak I could only have chased down on the 10' log that Precious is. I didn't do much on the wave, except barely outrun the fast folding lip all the way to shore, pumping down the line more than I would expect to be able to do on a board like that. I caught a few more big outsiders after my
blood was pumping. It brought back some old memories...

The three longboards I still have are 9' to 9-2" slim-profile boards with various rocker (all three are getting kinda worn out). Yet when I learned to surf in the mid-80's, much of my basic skills and style were developed on a 60's era 10' log a friend of mine had. This board was at least 50lbs, and I weighed maybe 120lbs at the time. I'm 190 now, and Precious isn't that heavy. Anyhow, I learned how to swing a big board around down the line during a phase in history when longboards weren't that popular. I didn't care as a teenager at the time because I was more into the skater clique than the surfers. They were separate back then.

Excuse me for rambling at 5am, it's been a long day. My point is I hadn't caught an awesome overhead wave on a big 10' tanker since I was a teenager, and it felt good. I was glad my wife and some of the fellas at the hotel saw the ride. I think my next new board will be freakishly large.

The tide went out and the ridable waves got smaller, but I managed about 3 hours of water time this morning. I had some poorly organized communications about picking the board up with the Dukester at the South Beach Inn (a 20 room motel next to the 16th street park in south Cocoa Beach). We tried to talk in the previous afternoon but couldn't hear each other over noisy backgrounds. Then he texted me back after I was asleep. The next morning I couldn't reach him. I was hoping he'd show up following my messages, but he had been chasing bigger waves 4 hours away, north of the Cape. I had heard
some spots up there were about 8' from various sources.

I worried a bit as check-out time lingered. I tried a couple back-up plans, as I didn't want to haul Precious back to Tampa again. The number I had for Jane Moody was disconnected. I called Andy in Bama too, because he had suggested prior that I could leave it with someone he knew in Melbourne.
Andy tried but wasn't able to reach his friend though.

I told the owners at the Inn the story of the longboard and showed them the signatures on her belly. They were interested in the saga and agreed to watch over her, and Duke finally got in touch with me and said he'd pick her up there. They are good people at the Inn, and I trusted her with them. One of the guys wanted to ride her in the afternoon, I should have told him to add his signature if he did. If Duke reads this in time, please pass the word since they are part of the chain now.

The swell was dropping before lunch, during which I met my wife's cousin who was transferred to Patrick's Air Force Base 6 weeks ago (A free place for me to crash now!) Before I left town it looked like it might be picking up, but the wind was onshore and a thunderstorm was looming. I'm glad I caught what I did, it was a good day. I had to work in Ybor City tonight. Bedtime now.

I snapped a few photos here at around 11:30:am from the Inn: http://tinyurl.com/5kjdk5

(Click on pic for larger image.)

At the Dune At the Surf At the Inn

July 15, 2008 - The Supreme Court: "I Have the Traveling Longboard"

Hit 95 S this AM, surfed, and drove to the place Ferg dropped it off. This is Round Two for me and it means that I will ride it again and sign it again.

In striking distance for moving this board: Andy? Blakestah? Anyone else? Ideas, ideas, ideas....

I'll be in Jax this weekend if any takers...

The Supreme Court

July 31, 2008 - The Supreme Court
"The Tarveling Lingboard"

Since the "tarveling lingboard" came back into my possession it has been ridden by no less than 6 people (5 plus me).

Dec 27, 2008: "The Lingboard Moveth"

The "tarveling lingboard" has changed hands. I dropped it off this AM in Sat Beach. It should show up in Andy's area in the next two weeks or so. She was a nice ride, good trim, and drew a nice line.

So long lingboard (for the second time).......

Jan 6, 2009: "Lingboard Down South"

We had some small swell Saturday, the Barrister had brought the Traveling Longboard to its rightful owner and all was well in the world.

Waves were thigh to knee with a couple dozen waist-high sets coming through. The water was warm, the sun was shining and sandbar 23X was working marginally well.

I pulled the board out of the bag for a first look-see. Not a bad shape, the nose seemed a tad narrow for that sized board. The cutaway fin was loose in the box like crack-ho's teeth, and there was a big ding on rail near the nose. I borrowed some electrician's tape from Adam and sealed it up as well as possible. Looks as if someone came down on the right-hand deck with their knee as there is a huge pressure dent near the rail... Todd? One of the GP goons? Other than that it is in good shape (click on above pic).

First impression was that it paddles like a canoe, jeeze I can haul in that thing. Completely fun board to surf, with the fin all the way up in the box it is actually sort of loose (could be my size), moreso than I expected. It also had... uhhh projection? Going right I floated a section and thought I was going to become bogged down in the soup, but the board had enough inertia to make it around the mush and hook up with the continuing right. Fun. It is not a nose-rider for my weight, possibly a smaller guy could pull it off.

Stayed in the water for about three hours, had a good time hanging with some friends and sliding some nice little waves. Post session shrimp po-boy at Bauxdeans washed down with a couple cold ones.

Freaky the thing will not fit in the Jeep, stinking big board (click on above pic).


ca. 2011 - The Preciouuuuuuus Moves on to La Jolla, San Diego, CA
After many years in Purgatory (south Alabama) the very Preciouuuuuuuuuus Long Board escaped to the land of many surfing deities. More of that story is buried somewhere on alt.surfing.

I've definitely been lagging on getting ya'll the physical evidence, but here are the pics you have been waiting for of the ASLB on the left coast again.

Some of the signatures are getting a little faded, but are mostly legible still. Andy's new Tiki sig is the freshest (and probably the most artistic).

I still haven't signed it, but I did ride it. I will have to say it wouldn't ever be the first choice out of my quiver. ;-)

I need to get on with organizing the other SD ASer's to ride it, sign it, and pass it on.

Tom Tweed
October 4, 2011

Next Round of the Preciouuuuus Saga Coming Soon...

AS Points Log: I have...
... met the following ASers ...surfed with these ASers ...traveled with these ASers

John Webster (jw)
Paul Richardson
Supreme Court

01 x 1 point = 07 x 2 points = 00 x 3 points =
01 points 14 points 00 points

Point totals: 14

Last updated on